


All I Want For Christmas is Mariah

by DoubleL27



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Christmas, Christmas planning, Fluff, Humor, Light mention of role play, M/M, Mariah Carey - Freeform, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 07:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21334243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27
Summary: David can’t help but want to make Christmas perfect now that Mariah has spoken about how to have the best Christmas ever. Patrick is not as excited.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	All I Want For Christmas is Mariah

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was started when the news of Mariah’s Cosmo UK article came over my radio. I knew David would be very excited. This whole thing just kind of flowed in my head as I drove to work, and now here it is. You can read the full article [here. ](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a29585987/how-mariah-carey-spends-christmas/)

Wednesday mornings were one of the days Patrick liked to hole up in the back room and look over spreadsheets of sales and make notes for them to have sales report meetings and restocking lists made and deciding what to put on sale. David had managed to make it in only fifteen minutes after opening so Patrick could focus while David put out holiday product and helped customers. He had been heavily distracted by his Mariah notifications going off and the new interview she had done with Cosmopolitan UK was running through his brain. After he rang up the last guest in the store and the bell jangled, signaling an empty building, David hustled back to inform Patrick of the plan he was forming.

David leaned in the doorway of the back room to watch Patrick idly flip his pen while looking over the columns of numbers. Patrick’s navy button down was rolled to just above his elbows and very attractive forearms. David refused to let himself get distracted though. “What if...mmm...what if we took a little trip this Christmas? Like, to Aspen.”

“What?”

Patrick caught the pen neatly but otherwise stilled. David figured he was looking for more information.

“Yeah, like a long-weekend jaunt.” David’s hands began moving along with his explanation. “Enjoy the sights, do some outdoorsy stuff, if that’s your thing.”

“Hon, we’re planning our wedding and deposits are due to several vendors and we have currently stocked the with brand new, rather expensive, Christmas merchandise.” Patrick turned his head back to look at David. “Why would we go to Aspen?”

“Well, Mariah may have done an interview with Cosmo UK which is essentially a guide to having a Very Mariah Christmas Experience.”

Patrick’s eyes went soft around the edges and he managed a smile despite being interrupted when he usually made David promise not to bother him. “David, you may be _my_ Mariah Carey, but you are not _actually_ Mariah Carey.”

“So, Aspen...” David tried again.

“No.” Patrick turned back to his computer screen. He quietly added, “Unless we don’t need to spend eight grand on catering for a sixty five person wedding.”

“Okay,” David began, not wanting to rehash that detail. “Half of the guest list is your family and then there’s at least ten people in this town who I cannot name that somehow made it on the list. And that price includes very correct linens and settings.”

Patrick did not say anything but looked at the spreadsheet that he had once explained was about the bigger spreadsheet and took notes. David felt his lips purse at Patrick’s back.

“So, definitely no Aspen?”

“No, David.”

David decided that it really meant not this year and tucked it away for later. Thankfully, Aspen was just one part of the greater Mariah Carey Christmas plan.

“Well,” David said, glancing down at his phone to an easier item on the list, “How about we do some last minute Christmas shopping on the 23rd and 24th.”

David paused for dramatic effect and Patrick’s hand just came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Clearly, Patrick did not have the vision of them bundled up in cute outerwear with spiked hot chocolate or cider, making their way through a quaint shopping center. David might have to paint it for him.

Patrick didn’t bother to turn around for this one. David watched as his very capable fiancé continued to prepare for their meeting tomorrow. Still, he was listening as he wrote notes. “David, as our store is hoping to capitalize on those very last minute shoppers, Rose Apothecary is going to need the owner and creative director in house. Also, considering we are shipping gifts to my parents _and_ to the Galapagos for your sister, we are going to need to do some early shopping.“

“Well, we can at least do three Christmas trees,” David threw out.

Patrick didn’t even look at him as he commented, “You barely spend enough time at the motel to justify having one there.”

“I meant three in the apartment.”

This time the pen clattered and Patrick spun fully around in his chair. Flustered Patrick was a rarity and David found himself pulling his face backwards as emotions flowed. “What? Where?”

“One in the bedroom, one in the living room and then a small, Charlie Brown tree, also in the living room, because we do not have a rec room.”

“Well, considering the bedroom and the living room are the same room—“

“A problem I definitely pointed out when we toured it with Ray,” David reminded him.

“The point is, we only need the one Charlie Brown tree at the apartment, because that’s what fits. You can have your big one here in the store.”

David sniffed, “Mariah puts three in her Aspen house. They say two trees in the article, but when you read the interview she very clearly stated three distinct trees.” David was actually very insulted on Mariah’s behalf that the writer had misrepresented her words.

“Well, as we are not in Aspen, you can have Schitt’s Creek level trees instead of Aspen level trees.”

“Patrick!” David whined, as his head fell backwards.

“David, we are not getting smothered by trees in our own home. We have to actually live there.”

Patrick stood, wiping his hands on the new dark wash Levi’s that actually worked. “Give me the list.”

David was tempted to not give Patrick the list, considering how his Christmas plan had gone so far. However, Patrick had that serious look on his face with the little crinkle showing up on his forehead. David almost felt a little bad interrupting the morning routine with Mariah and in that spirit passed his phone with the open article over to Patrick.

David waited, nerves jangling slightly, because now, standing in the back of the store with Patrick reading the list, everything started to feel rather frivolous. Patrick however was regarding the list carefully.

“I really like number one.” Patrick glanced up and gave David a smile that bordered on teasing, “But as we are spending Christmas with your parents I am going to leave the ‘Zen Zone’ to you and your mom to sort out.”

David felt his face pull into some rather unattractive shapes as Patrick returned to the article, thumbing through the lines. “We discussed two and three. Four,” Patrick paused, his face forming into a smirk. David swallowed, as the smirk had traveled up to dance in Patrick’s eyes. “We don’t have kids to invite a Santa over in the evening but if you have some secret fantasies around Mr. Claus you haven’t mentioned yet, we could work with that.”

David made an utterly hideous sputtering sound and reached for the phone. “Give it-“

“Five is easy. We already open presents Christmas morning. We solved six. A nineteen foot tree, really, with what ceilings. Seven...” Patrick looked up at David and stared without blinking. “I have never seen you cook.”

“You would be the sous chef, in that situation. Obviously.”

“Ah. Noted.”

Patrick didn’t miss a beat. “We can host a game night with Christmas films in the background, so that’s eight. Alexis isn’t here to torture you but we may need to invite Ray to round out the numbers for game night. And nine, you already have a giant Christmas Spotify playlist with Mariah every fifth song, but if you want to keep working on it knock yourself out.”

Patrick handed back the phone and David clutched it to his chest, like the precious thing it was. “I just want to have a Mariah level Christmas.”

“I think we just established you will have as close to a Mariah level Christmas as the budget allows. Also, if you want to dress up in a Santa suit I think we can make it work.” Patrick’s non-eyebrows lifted suggestively.

David felt his own nose wrinkle and flair as his face journeyed through that horrifying image. “Eww, no. I am going to go look at gold lights and angel and butterfly ornaments for the store tree.”

“As long as we can sell them.”

The gasp slipped out of David’s mouth before he could stop it and Patrick chucked at him. David narrowed his eyes at Patrick. David found his voice to be exceptionally prim as he said, “We are not selling my rendition of Mariah Carey’s tree. I will see if anything is reasonable to stock in the store.”

“Sell some of the Christmas lights and ornaments we already have in stock first please,” Patrick called out, returning to his earlier task.

David stuck his tongue out at his fiancé’s back and slipped into the floor of the store, planning to use the front computer for some investigative shopping. The display tree was going to look fucking amazing. David also decided he would make the hot cocoa with butterscotch schnapps happen though. This Christmas he was going to work on making it the Most Mariah Christmas he could.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Feel free to follow me on tumblr also as doublel27.


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